HOW Did Dinosaurs Have Sex Without Hurting Each Other?

Dinosaurs ruled the Earth for 135million years. But sex must have been a risky business with all that bony armour and spiky tails thrashing about. For most animals, the male mounts the female from behind. 

That would be hard for creatures weighing up to 25 tons — and surely impossible for the likes of stegosaurus, with its stiff, spiky tail.

 

Dinosaur expert Brian Switek, whose book My Beloved Brontosaurus is out in May, said: “The females could not raise their tails because the bones at the top end were fused.“And some species had lethal spikes on their backs that would have been impossible to get past.” 

Heinrich Mallison of Berlin’s Museum Of Natural History designs computer programs modelling how dinosaurs made out. He found that the males of many species would risk CASTRATION if they ever tried to mount their females from behind.

“These prickly dinosaurs must have had sex another way,” he said. “Perhaps the female lay down on her side and the male reared up to rest his torso over her.

“Other species would have used different positions, like backing up to each other.” 

It seems the “Dino Sutra” had four main positions. 

Rear mounting — as most mammals do today would be suitable for some lighter dinosaurs and those without spikes on their backs, such as the velociraptor.

A safety-first side-on method would have avoided swipes by a stray tail for a stegosaurus, for example. 

A tricky rear-to-rear technique could be possible for the kentrosaurus if the male could swivel his neck to see where he was aiming. And some females may have rolled on to their backs for missionary-style coupling. Tyrannosaurus rex may have mated this way. 

Not all experts agree with Switek, however, Some suggest the dinosaurs’ secret was to develop massively long penises.

 

The aptly-named Prof John Long of South Australia’s Flinders University said: “A 33ft-long ankylosaurus, with spikes and armour, would have had a 6FT 6IN penis to bridge the gap when close to a female.” 

The argument does not look like being solved any time soon. Sadly, the fossil record is very poor when it comes to penises.

“Soft tissues are seldom preserved during fossilization,” Prof Long explained. “We have never found a fossilised phallus. 

“Doing so would solve many mysteries.”

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