When "sorry" seems to be the easiest word, then
you might want to take a closer look at what's going on in your
relationship. Apologizing when you've truly committed a wrong act is
honorable; saying you're sorry when you're not or apologizing for the
most innocuous infractions may indicate deeper trouble.
Research has
found that people who are chronic apologizers have lower self-esteem
than those who apologize only at appropriate times.
Listen to yourself
when you're saying "I'm sorry." What are you sorry about?
That conflict
has arisen in your relationship? Are you trying to please or curry favor
with your mate?
Do you apologize simply to resolve an argument and
smooth things over?
Truly examine why you feel sorry - or if you're
just paying lip service to keep things copacetic between you two.
Apologizing in the middle of an argument is detrimental because it can
leave issues unresolved.
When you say you're sorry in order to end the
fight, then you may leave issues simmering beneath the surface - an
unhealthy situation for both of you. If you're not sorry for something
you've said or done, then say so! Apologizing to remove yourself from
the negativity of the situation or to please your mate won't get
anything accomplished, and it can reinforce negative feelings about
yourself.
Instead of reflexively apologizing, try stepping away from the
situation before uttering the "s" word. Take a walk or a drive, and
reflect on potential solutions to the problem. Give yourself a break
from shouldering all the blame, and you'll begin to love yourself enough
to stand up for yourself when you need to.
And that's nothing to be
sorry about.
Source
No comments:
Post a Comment
Comment here